2025 Reflections
Last year I made a cute little interactive reflection piece. I don’t have any ideas for one this year, so a blogpost will do.
Despite lacklustre updates on my website (or for any online presence other than on Pixel Cat’s End), I have actually been very productive creatively this year! As a quick summary:
- Did artfight for the first time this year with 18 attacks!
- Participated in a local summer school, “traceroute — Practices in Telematic Performances”
- Filled up 33 pages of my sketchbook1
- My biggest creative output has been into PCE, the stats are 50 not-cats with a completed bio2 and 52 comic pages done for my lore thread.
- Even with long periods of silence in between, my website did go through some changes! Including a new responsive layout, things like a sitemap and a 404 page, and 2 new gallery entries: a mad libs type letter writing game and an “ant farm”
This doesn’t count anything I’ve done for school, any other PCE drawings I’ve done for my art shop and other threads, miscellaneous commissions, etc etc. It’s hard to quantify my creative output, but it’s nice to remember that these were all done this year.
I’d say it’s a shame so much was for a silly cat game, but I’m an adult now, I can recognise art is art and my creativity isn’t invalid just because the output is for something cringe. I would say writing these comics and stories contributes to my skill that can be used for a real piece of work, but I’m over that too. The works I make aren’t just fodder for something “greater”.
My sketchbook/scrapbook/“junk journalling” is what I hear it’s called, has been scrappier than last year. Mediums of choice are markers, pens, and crayons were a latecomer. There were attempts to make paintings with skill for a brief moment when me and my friend were thinking of boothing together, but drawing things with the nagging idea of making something to sell proved to be annoying and uninspiring.
It’s a bit hard to just call it a sketchbook now. I have a separate sketchbook for doing website layouts, and even one for my PCE doodles. The drawings I make in this sketchbook are not the mindless doodles I described them as in my 2024 review. I realise that I do somewhat try to composition them, as well as overcome some innate urges to not draw over other doodles or handle things with care. It’s my junk journal, it’s not precious. The drawings I make in this sketchbook are deliberate experimentation.
On the other hand, artfight was the thing that really got me back into digital drawing, but a horrifying thought dawned on me… am I only able to find motivation to draw when it’s for work or others? It put into perspective why I drew so little last year.
In my 2024 reflection, I said I didn’t feel the drive to make refined things with skill, and that feeling has definitely changed. I realise I do like feeling focused when trying to make something with precision, I do like feeling like I’ve improved at something. That goes for both webmaking and drawing. I’m still suffering from a chronic lack of motivation, but it’s reassuring to know the motivation is still there somewhere.
I rediscovered my love for Kenshirou Morii’s mv for siinamota’s song “Strobe Light” the other day.
They nailed it with having that white dress Miku watch regular Miku go about her day in repeat. It’s so real, that detached sense of disappointment watching yourself fall into the same traps and habits everyday. I loved this mv when I was 17.
Now watching it again, it reminds me of Michael’s simple guide to disembodiment.
“Don’t do the things that you say you will. Break your intentions and your life apart with your own inaction to such an extent that simple tasks & desires seems like a far away dream.”
Goals that are not a faraway dream:
- Finish reading Nicky Case's AI Safety for Fleshy Humans and Erik Davis's Techgnosis
- Sem exchange in Rotterdam
- SFPC workshops coming to Singapore!!!
- Portfolio website
All the best for 2026!