shublog

End February Update

February's over, it’s too soon! I have more or less settled into a routine, settled into life here… but there’s still much to do!

Antwerp

We had a week long break, so I spent 3 days in Antwerp followed by a day trip to Amsterdam. It’s been 2 separate day trips and I’m starting to think a day really isn’t enough to explore all of Amsterdam. On the other hand you can actually see all you need to see in Antwerp in 2 days, since it’s just looking at old buildings and churches. But wow! They’re old!

Coming from Singapore this is probably my first time seeing an Old old building. So old that it appears as it is in 15th century paintings. It’s kind of amazing actually, having such longstanding history as an anchor to see how your home has changed. It’s unfair to compare my country to this obviously, but being so used to the imagery of old Singapore feeling more like fantasy than history this is a crazy feelings.

Europe seemingly has this incredible luxury to grow old like that. I was surprised to find that Rotterdam is actually considered a pretty modern city in the Netherlands, the cute brick houses and big church near my school fooled me.

Museum Hopping pt 2

Hmm let’s see. Since last time I have been inside MAS in Antwerp, the Stedelijk museum in Amsterdam, and a brief look inside the FUNGI: Anarchist Designers exhibition at the Nieuwe Institute, though I intend to join one of their thursday detours. I also totally forgot to mention last blogpost that I visited Depot Boijmans Van Beuningen.

Looking at those iconic old paintings is cool, but the contemporary ones are always more exciting. I want to grab them! I want to eat them! I particularly liked the ones in Stedelijk, highlights include the Blue Dots exhibition (featuring select artworks that were apparently marked as least priority for evacuation during the Cold War!) as well as the Erwin Olaf retrospective. I wish I heard of that photographer sooner, his more candid photographs in particular are so endearing! I’m still not used to museums being so big and the days being so short.

Back to school + learning Webflow

Lessons so far have included trying to make a cartoon character out of our chosen material, and I had an assignment to go to a museum and choose an artwork to stare at for an hour. The art school is certainly art schooling.

For my material exploration I’ve chosen to focus on used tea bags. They’re already a steady source for me, but doing specific experiments still means more tea drinking and more microplastics yum. It’s been fun having free access to all these workshops (and even stuff like microscopes) but the most exciting part has been trying out Webflow, which we have to use to document our research this semester.

My first time using a website builder as well as a CMS. I really want to get good at designing my own CMS but the learning curve is definitely Curving. Like there are certainly times where I’m trying to connect my CMS to my design and in my head I’m like “I could JUST put this in with html…”

Chinese-ness in Rotterdam

I can’t go visiting relatives this year for obvious reasons, but I did check out this CNY festival thing at Fenix Plein.

It was too crowded by the time I came for me to do any of the workshops, and most of the outside stalls weren’t very appealing, but I did catch a film screening of LION (2026) by Nastassia Winge Tan there. It was pretty short, and to be honest my only thought was “So this is what white people think of chinese culture.”

Ok, let me explain. I don’t mean that as a diss and I hope that becomes more evident in the following paragraphs. Though not particularly relatable this short film did get me to reflect a bit on the dissonance I’ve been feeling about Chinese-ness since coming here (wholly expected of course). There’s certainly something to be said about the West’s focus on specific Chinese aesthetics in their discussion of Chinese immigrants or the Chinese diaspora, even in the co-opting of the Guangdong lion as a Chinese mascot, when there is a whole plethora of different types of lions from different regions!

Even disregarding other ethnic groups outside of the Han chinese, it’s hard to describe the way in which using just these select symbols fails not only to encapsulate the sheer diversity of Chinese culture but also modern Chinese identity.

My ancestors departure from China is relatively recent compared to Tan’s, but I still have no hope of ever finding which village I originate from since my surname’s transliteration is misspelled apparently. Even then, if I did visit, it would be less like coming home and more as a tourist. I’m a Singaporean who’s been boiled and simmered in the cultural melting pot. I don’t practice tea ceremonies or have traditional Chinese room dividers in my house.

But I’m still Chinese, I think. To me, Chinese-ness is looking at makeup tutorials by other 中国人 on 小红书, eating fruits after dinner, and not wearing shoes in the house. Here, Chinese-ness is giant red lanterns and wok fried rice combined with vaguely familiar side dishes. I don’t necessarily think it’s less “authentic” just because it’s different from what I’m used to at home, and indeed sometimes searching for authenticity feels like a losing battle. You noticed that something about you is different, or maybe something that’s supposed to be “different” isn’t. Maybe you don’t have to chase symbols to reclaim that part of you, maybe just knowing is enough to be Chinese.

The filmmaker mentioned she’s half Peranakan Chinese, but specifically those that settled in Indonesia. I’m obviously only vaguely familiar with the ones that came to Singapore, and so I wonder what’s the difference?

Other miscellaneous activities include exploring bookstores, jazz cafe bars, weekend market antique stalls, and being more or less done cleaning up my dirty ass house (I discovered Scary things in my kitchen hood and shower drain). No media wrap up this week as reading has slowed to a crawl, but I have been reading Eating Chilli Crab in the Anthropocene as per recommendation from a friend.

The weather’s getting slightly warmer. I’m still noticing new types of trees and birds wherever I walk, and snowdrops are sprouting in the ground. The only link I have to share is this project, Link Tree by Bảo Anh Bùi, where they archive the websites and projects they’ve made by hand drawing them. Until next time!

#fartfridays