shublog

Mid March Update

March 16th! Where did the time go? Maybe it’s going faster because I’ve been getting busier with school and going on less exploring.

Utrecht


Less exploring doesn’t mean none. A friend invited me on a day trip to Utrecht last Saturday, and a day trip is definitely enough. If you’re not a Miffy fan there’s not much to do other than walk the streets and visit the cathedral and the library. Actually, even if you’re a Miffy fan it’s just the museum and some sculptures. Still a charming place though! A much needed change in scenery admist the busy school week. If only if it wasn’t raining. There was even some sleet(?) on the way to this little Miffy statue. One thing I’ve notice though, people here do not give a fuck about rain, they’ll just walk along as if ice pellets aren’t hitting their head.

School again

Speaking of school, the term is starting to begin in earnest. In the first week of March we had a little cohort exhibition, just showcasing the “experiments” I’ve done with my material that I definitely did not rush in one day. And at this point we’re supposed to start locking in on what exactly will be our final “product”, though it really doesn’t need to be a product at all, just needs to be something.

Of course no one knows what they want to do. It’s funny to hear the full time students dunk on the WDKA’s vague and open-ended kind of education. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side! It’s a little anxiety-inducing to be left on your own like this, but I’m learning to enjoy the whimsy. At least, I definitely wouldn’t have an assignment to write a 300 word narrative based on a museum artwork.

I’ve more or less got an acceptable (for now) format going for my Webflow documentation, just that I’m still finding my way around Webflow’s UI and limitations. For example, I tried to do the responsive layout trick with grids because Webflow offers that, but it just doesn’t work? Even the teacher was like “yeah it should work, I don’t know why.” Sigh.

Museum hopping pt 3

I’ve somehow been able to walk into the Nieuwe Instituut without a ticket twice now, which I was mainly going for that 300 word assignment. I had a “dutch culture class” that brought me to Kunstinstituut Melly, as well as Mama. I think it’s cool that they have these kind of places for young artists without much experience to play around. I think it’s cool that there’s room to play around here. There’s so much room.

I also did a little night walk around town during Museumnacht, where a bunch of participating places were open till 1 am. Too many really, I couldn’t even visit half of them. I’ve been seeing posters for Rotterdam Art Week, and my first thought was “every week’s art week here!”

Wereldmuseum was the only museum I visited that night, but I went to other smaller places like WORM and Print Room that had their own exhibitions and activities. Lu Lin’s DIY Panty Workstation was a cute one. I liked her toilet (lol), and talking with her was just a pleasure.

For Wereldmuseum, I loved loved loved the solo exhibition by Marlou Fernanda. Dynamic yet unrestrained, it’s a level of mastery I’m not sure I’ll ever attain with my own work. Such precise contrasts, her work feels so wild yet not uncontrolled, my hands were itching as I walked around the gallery

Hopping, just generally

My little adventures have been a mixed bag recently. On the first Monday I traveled a little further to visit the Rhoonse Grienden, and maybe because it was Monday it was basically empty, I was alone in the marsh for almost my entire 2h walk there. It was nice! I’d like to go back there in the spring, as well as Klein Profijt

I’ve also been going to more bars. There was the one at WORM of course, and Jazz cafe bars like Cafe Labru and Vrijmoed, but I also went for a Queens & Karaoke night at Ferry! I even sang a song on stage, and I was definitely the worst singer that night, but it was so fun! I’m itching to go to more, but my plans have been thwarted so far. Couldn’t go to Strano on Sunday because the wind and rain was just a little too much, and I wanted to go to Dizzy today as well but I have assignments due. My brain has been flip flopping a lot between “You’re caring too much about school! Go out more!” And “You’re falling behind! Stop going out on impromptu trips!” Neither are true, but speaking of my brain…

???

Even now, I have the compulsion to say “Don’t get me wrong! I’m extremely lucky to be where I am now!”, but I’ve definitely been experiencing your average inconveniences and woes of being on your own. Like expensive groceries, the fact that I still don’t have a bike because Swapfiets doesn’t accept my cards for some reason, and that I still don’t have a Dutch bank account because I keep missing my appointments to register at the municipal and the next available date is always like 2 weeks away.

There’s inconveniences, and as I’ve started to settle in here so has my tendency to unnecessarily spiral and get caught up in complexes. So far what has been helping is for me to imagine the parent-child dynamic in my head, when I notice myself entering these states I call upon the parent to come pick up the child. It helps to talk to myself like this, to put things into perspective, it clears my mind.

This time it didn’t though. This mood swing hit particularly hard yesterday, kind of out of nowhere. The parent chides, You literally just got back from a day trip with a friend. Cleaning and decorating my room helps, making sure my fridge is stocked helps, having a routine (kind of) helps. Going out helps, resting at home helps. It still happens though.

The parent chides, You have friends, you have a good relationship with your roommate, you have a good house.

You’re going out all the time, you’re keeping up with school, what is there to be sad about?

Now I think I need to reevaluate what kind of parent I want to be with myself, because I realised for some reason I made up some kind of rule stating that I’m not allowed to be sad here. I’ve been in Rotterdam for a little over a month now, I’ve got around 4 months to go, of course I’m going to feel melancholic.

Media Wrap Up

I swear I’m still reading Eating Chilli Crab in the Anthropocene! It’s been kind of a mixed experience, some essays are genuinely interesting, some I think could’ve gone a little more in-depth, and some that made me go “well… duh” in my head. It’s also been weirdly informative to me alongside my school assignments that are centred around waste and production in a linear economy.

Speaking of school, I had to read The Carrier Bag Theory of Fiction by Ursula Le Guin as a reading for theory class (the 300 word narrative one). Her description of the life story makes me think of those kind of soft hope stories, where hope isn’t some dogmatic truth that leads you to victory but rather something that you hold onto and lets you survive. A chore rather than a heroic feat. Or as Le Guin puts it:

I am an aging, angry woman laying mightily about me with my handbag, fighting hoodlums off. However I don't, nor does anybody else, consider myself heroic for doing so. It's just one of those damned things you have to do in order to be able to go on gathering wild oats and telling stories.

Off the top of my head I think of the movie Gold or Shit (2024) (apparently this is called G for Gap internationally?) or the game Before the Green Moon (2023), both of which I love dearly.

Speaking of BTGM, I’m actually replaying the game right now! This might be my 4th or 5th time playing it? And I’ve got the specific challenge of going through at least 365 in game days. For reference, you exhaust most of the game’s content around 50 days in. It’s a really special game to me (I have apparently even inspired someone else to make a video on it) and one I keep coming back to. While the impact has become more lukewarm with each playthrough, it’s why I want to do this challenge.

JJBA update.. I’ve managed to start Golden Wind with my sister, I think we left off at episode 11? Maybe the first time I watched an anime get better at pacing and having a cohesive storyline and thinking “it’s boring now…” LOL. It definitely fits modern tastes better and it’s not like it doesn’t have its unpredictable moments, but idk. I guess I just like the sheer ridiculousness of Stardust Crusaders more.

#fartfridays